Nighttime Hosts Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Residency Program

Late-night's top comedians spent their broadcast mocking President Donald Trump's recently announced immigration program, labeled the "golden visa," characterizing it as a blatant cash-for-residency scheme for the wealthy.

Stephen Colbert's Pointed Take

Kicking off his broadcast, Stephen Colbert presented a mock Christmas jingle targeting the president. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, before handing that list to the people at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... destroys each thing he comes into contact with."

The subject was the controversial initiative that permits international individuals to purchase U.S. residency for a sum of one million dollars, or "premium" version for five million. The program's portal pledges approval "in record time."

"A quick thought here to affluent foreigners: prior to you pony up, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He explained that the program is also meant to "get cash" from firms wanting to hire skilled workers, with significant fees. "That is a lot of fees, however if you sign up, you also get free accommodation at a property of your choice – provided that it's the that one hotel," he said.

"Unprecedented screening the government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to verify these applicants completely are eligible to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Roast

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"Here's a card that will permit affluent international individuals to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get official visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one major crime of your selection."

"It might be time to revise that poem on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel mocked the simplicity of the form, noting it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Indeed, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Economic Struggles

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's slipping poll numbers during economic worries. "People gave Donald Trump a another term since they were angry about the economy," he said.

This week, in a bid to discuss affordability, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a array of food items, where he behaved strangely to boxes of cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a long time."

"He is so incredibly weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by targeting conservative media coverage of Trump's financial performance. "Maybe rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy like the one FIFA did," he remarked.